Before the Internet, There Were the Back Page Ads...

Long ago when the Internet was only a sparkle in a few techies minds, people still sought out help for all kinds of things: new careers, weight loss, relationships, and even pets.

Where was this pre-tech font of information you ask?  Well it was in a mish-mash of ads in the back of magazines!

Why on this single page alone, you have offers in shorthand courses (that's something that is always in demand these days!), careers in travel (huh?) and as a secretary (another in-demand) as well as summer study courses to finish high school among others!

And yes, that is our Kathy on the right.  After reading all the promises of money, travel, and an exciting career, I'm ready to sign up myself!!

How come I've never had a secretary that looked like that?

Two of the main themes of these back page ads are weight loss (or gain) and pictures of yourself.  I suppose that proves that the modern "selfie" craze is instinctive.

Let's take a closer look at that motivational weight loss poster...

Yes, "fat shame" yourself with this poster - that'll do the trick.

And after you loose all that weight, you'll realize, to your horror, that guys like curves!!  No problem, there were ads for putting the pounds back on also!

Body image issues were not just for women back then, no, no, no.  Who can forget the ubiquitous Charles Atlas ads imploring guys to bulk up lest you get sand kicked in your face at the beach!!

No, don't let them call you skinny by any means!  That can be fixed with Wate-On.  I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I actual bought this product in an attempt to become Charles Atlas.  It tasted like crap.

Here's a typical smorgasbord of stuff:  How to make your man more sensuous, how to get a book published, how to make bourbon (that'll help with the first item), and of course another giant picture of yourself. (1)

Ladies, after you make your man more sensuous, you can pick up the companion book for yourself!! Perhaps one should start with the hair removal product first. That should help to get him in the mood!

Careers in accounting, the airline industry and the military at your fingertips!  Who needs that darn internet!!

"Can you pass the Hug Test?"  More body image issues from the 70s.  "Men are Body Conscious, Are You?"  (2)

Yes we are!!  We are very "body conscious."

So what happens after all the weight loss/gain products, exciting careers, hair removal, bust enhancement, see-through glasses, and giant posters don't bring you happiness?  Well, there's one fall-back product left ......

For her.......

And for him.....

footnotes:

(1) Isn't making bourbon without a license illegal?? I mean that's what got Uncle Bob in all sorts of problems back home.  Darn "revenooers" were always trying to shut down his stills!

(2) Why oh why is there an ad for "How to Pick Up Girls" in the back of a women's magazine?  I mean I always assumed the techniques were different for that sort of thing?!?

Let's Get Into Physical - Part 6 - A Tribute to The King

"Grandpa, why are so sad?"

"Well son, I just found out that Arnold Palmer, one of the legends of the 60s and 70s, passed away."

"Oh, sorry to hear that Grandpa......Who??"

"Son don't tell me that you don't know who Arnold Palmer is?!?!?  He was only the most iconic and famous golfer of all time!!"

"Oh, you mean like Tiger Woods?"

"No, no, no.  Arnie was a true gentleman off the course as well as a ferocious competitor on it, and his fans loved him for it.  He came along right at the beginning of the TV age and transformed golf forever.  And best of all he remained humble and grateful for his success - not at all like the rich spoiled athletes today!"

"He always put on a show by his go-for-broke style."

"Did you ever see him play, Grandpa."

"Yes I did.  I attended a tournament when I was...well I was about your age.  I remember Arnie drove a tee shot into the deep right rough and we were just a few feet from his ball to see him play his second shot.   The lie was horrid, and he was blocked by trees.  But instead of chipping out like a mortal player would, he asked for a 3 iron, played it back in his stance and went for the green!  Leaves and dirt went flying!  When the dust settled, his ball was on the green about 7 feet from the pin.  It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen in sports...."

"And Arnie was really the first athlete to really cash in on the endorsement arena - hawking everything from watches.....

...to copy machines to........

...to even lawn mowers!"

"Grandpa, you called a golfer an athlete.  Really?!?  "

"Watch it kid.  Anyway, Arnie made golf cool and made it popular for all sorts of people...

...even hot babes took up the game!"

"And of course, the Big Book catalogs took notice and pushed merchandise endorsed by all sorts of golf stars..."

"Johnny Miller??? Grandpa, why do you keep bringing up these guys that I've never heard of??  Anyway, there's NO way you can convince me that golf is cool."

"Oh really?? Challenge accepted kid, check these out........"

"Okay, I admit that's pretty cool, except for that green jacket.  It clashes with the red car.

"Sigh, Do you kids now days know anything?!?  You see, the biggest professional tournament of the year is called The Masters and the winner gets....oh never mind, let's move on"

"Yeah Grandpa, I admit that's pretty bad ass.  I didn't know that golfers could be such rebels! But still what about the babes?"

"Hey Grandpa, this Arnold Palmer was a stud!!  Maybe I'll take up golf."

"There you go son.  Hey I think it's time for one of those 'What Kind of Man Reads..." moments."

What Kind of Man Reads The Kathy Loghry Blogspot?  He's a champion champion who defined an era that defined his moments for eternity.  Ruthless, flamboyant and daring in competition, he was as equally kind, humble and caring off the course.  Women wanted him, men wanted to be him.  Quite simply he will always be known as......

The King.