Monday, October 10, 2016

Before the Internet, There Were the Back Page Ads...

Long ago when the Internet was only a sparkle in a few techies minds, people still sought out help for all kinds of things: new careers, weight loss, relationships, and even pets.

Where was this pre-tech font of information you ask?  Well it was in a mish-mash of ads in the back of magazines!

Why on this single page alone, you have offers in shorthand courses (that's something that is always in demand these days!), careers in travel (huh?) and as a secretary (another in-demand) as well as summer study courses to finish high school among others!

And yes, that is our Kathy on the right.  After reading all the promises of money, travel, and an exciting career, I'm ready to sign up myself!!

How come I've never had a secretary that looked like that?

Two of the main themes of these back page ads are weight loss (or gain) and pictures of yourself.  I suppose that proves that the modern "selfie" craze is instinctive.

Let's take a closer look at that motivational weight loss poster...
Yes, "fat shame" yourself with this poster - that'll do the trick.

And after you loose all that weight, you'll realize, to your horror, that guys like curves!!  No problem, there were ads for putting the pounds back on also!

Body image issues were not just for women back then, no, no, no.  Who can forget the ubiquitous Charles Atlas ads imploring guys to bulk up lest you get sand kicked in your face at the beach!!

No, don't let them call you skinny by any means!  That can be fixed with Wate-On.  I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I actual bought this product in an attempt to become Charles Atlas.  It tasted like crap.

Here's a typical smorgasbord of stuff:  How to make your man more sensuous, how to get a book published, how to make bourbon (that'll help with the first item), and of course another giant picture of yourself. (1)

Ladies, after you make your man more sensuous, you can pick up the companion book for yourself!! Perhaps one should start with the hair removal product first. That should help to get him in the mood!

Careers in accounting, the airline industry and the military at your fingertips!  Who needs that darn internet!!

"Can you pass the Hug Test?"  More body image issues from the 70s.  "Men are Body Conscious, Are You?"  (2)

Yes we are!!  We are very "body conscious."

So what happens after all the weight loss/gain products, exciting careers, hair removal, bust enhancement, see-through glasses, and giant posters don't bring you happiness?  Well, there's one fall-back product left ......
For her.......

And for him.....


(1) Isn't making bourbon without a license illegal?? I mean that's what got Uncle Bob in all sorts of problems back home.  Darn "revenooers" were always trying to shut down his stills!

(2) Why oh why is there an ad for "How to Pick Up Girls" in the back of a women's magazine?  I mean I always assumed the techniques were different for that sort of thing?!?