Monday, March 24, 2014

Hot Pants (Part 3) - Now they're Terry-iffic!

Oh no, not again! Once more we enter a time vortex of 70s-ness as the past becomes the present, becomes the future. Confused (I know I am), then maybe this guy can help us out.....

There is a 5th dimension, beyond that is known to man...It is vast as space and as timeless as is the middle ground between light and shadow...between science and superstition...and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge...This is the dimension of imagination...It is an area, that we call...................The Hot Pants Zone (cue crazy sounding music) (1).

Once more, the past has written the present which previews the future...time has lost all relevance, and why not!  With gals like this in Hot Pants like these, well, time has no meaning!  In other words, Hot Pants are timeless, beyond time, outside of space-time reality... We have entered the Hot Pants Zone!!!   And in that extra-dimensional zonality, how are the Hot Pants?  Well, they're Terry-ific?!?!? DUH?!?!? (2)

Holy Hot Pants Batman! Talk about "Terry-ific" hot pants! (3) (4)  Note to my dear gentle readers: Yes, I noticed the title of this pic "so soft TERRY", and yes, that prompts a number of stray thoughts and directions of a more - ah, hem - prurient discourse.  However, decorum prevents me from exploring these options - even in the 5th dimension of the Hot Pants Zone, we have standards!

And now, to truly enter that time vortex of the Hot Pants zone, we need to return to a different dimension of reality, one seemingly lost in the misty recesses of time....

Yes, that is our Jayne Modean (her commercial starts at 1:29) touting the advantages of Nair baby oil to keep those stems hot pants ready!   How in the heck did I ever pass my physics and chemistry classes with distractions like this swirling about?!?!?  With Hot Pants everywhere in the 70s and early 80s,  it is a miracle that I learned anything at all!!!

This brings us to a troubling and potentially disturbing question.  Were these hot pants real or just a figment of our imagination, a primal memory from an alternate reality that can only be experienced in what we call.......The Hot Pants Zone (cue more crazy sounding music).


(1)  I don't smoke, but you have to love the cig that Rod is holding in the intro.  No way you could do that today!

(2)  This pic is courtesy of JJ'S Playhouse. Thanks!

(3) This pic is courtesy of BlueSenshi.  Thanks!

(4) What? Save 98 cents (5)?  Seems like an odd amount, must be some sort of marking ploy.  You know 98 cents sounds bigger than 1 dollar.

         (5) Oh great, footnotes to footnotes!  We really must be an alternate reality!  It appears that computer                keyboards no longer have cents signs on them.  Of course I remember when a # was shorthand for                pounds instead of whatever the heck it means now.

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