Thursday, October 3, 2013

Crazy Catalog Stuff - Part 2: Pimp My Pad

I admit that I had a plethora of choices for the title of this week's post.  For example: What Happened in the 70s, Stays in the 70s, or Random Weirdness: Boogie Nights.  It was a tough choice.  Nevertheless, I persevered and now, bring to you, Dear Readers, the ultimate 70s banchelor pad.......

Oh dear, Kathy has apparently fallen for the wily charms of this "smooth operator"  as he has lured Kathy down to his "totally happening" 70s Lair of Seduction.  Yes, the Spiegel Magic Man (1) has nothing on this Lady Killer Extrodinaire for he can truly create magic in his 70s "Love Chamber" (are you taking notes Paco Camino Man?).  Here, smartly outfitted in his sweater with shirt collars out, he conjures up any magic elixir that a "Young Modern" (2) woman like Kathy could desire (as long as it is a gin martini - note that there are only two bottles on the shelf)  (3).

Oh wait, scratch all that.  He is actually in the basement of his parent's house.  "Oh rats, I heard my parents open the garage door, they'll , like, TOTALLY KILL me if they find out I've gotten into their liquor cabinet, quick, down your drink, QUICK!!".

Multi-colored mushroom seats, bean bag chairs, and statue?  What more does one need in their swinging pad?  Oh, yeah, the two blondes in repose on the velvet furniture - that would surely be the good life!

Now wait one cotton pickin' minute on that one.  Apparently for "The Good Life" you also need cool sign clocks, laminated Formica tables, and a .....pachinko machine?!?! (Note: blonde NOT included with purchase).

Let's not forget the sound activated black lights, moonbeam light machine, and rainbow swirlee fun lamp for some Mood Magic (Spiegel's Magic Man is slapping his forehead thinking "Oh so THAT's the 70s magic that gets the ladies.  I KNEW I shouldn't have tried that rabbit-out-of-a-hat trick with Fluffy.)

So what else does a 70s bachelor pad need to win over the ladies?

Why stop with a dog statue when you can equip your pad with a real life puppy.  You can just see the ladies melting when they see your sensitive side.  After all no gal can resist a.......Wait a minute! You mean to tell me you could order a DOG from a mail order catalog?!?!? REALLY? A dog?!?!? REALLY???????  This just doesn't seem to be a good idea to me - haunting images of Fluffy the Rabbitt come to mind.  The fine print should probably say "Not available for international orders".

So whatever happened to Kathy?  Last time we saw her, she has being romanced by "Senior Suave".

Well, it looks like she was able to ditch that dude and now she is enjoying The Good Life in her own pad!! And as for what happened to the poor guy, well, instead of an evening of amore, he got grounded for a week for getting into his parent's liquor stash.  Better luck next time, maybe he should take some magic lessons from the Speigel Magic Man!


(1) See last week's post for reference to The Spiegel Magic Man.

(2) See the first post on "Crazy Stuff You Could Buy From a Catalog" for reference.

(3) If you look closely, you'll notice that one of the two bottles is clearly Tanqueray gin, so I guess all the guy could make was a gin martini.  Which brings up an interesting question.  Are the models in the pic actually drinking real juice on the set?  This is the 70s after all, so why not?


  1. Holy Cow! I have no words! Oh, yeah, I always have words! So much stuff in these photos from my childhood. My Dad had the required vinyl and fake wood bar in our orange and gold "rumpus" room. It also had the drunk guy with a red nose hanging onto a lamp post lamp on it. I also owned a purple inflatable chair and a red bean bag. There were in my room with the red shag carpet and purple velveteen bedspread. Love beads on the door. Hip Man! You could find me in there jamming to The Rolling Stones while watching my motion activated light. Far Out! Oh the 70's! Gotta love 'em!

    1. Orange and gold? Nice color combination! Yeah, I had kinda forgotten about a lot of these things. We didn't have the drunk guy with the red nose, but one of my friend's parents did! Yes, we did indeed enjoy The Good Life back then....

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