Kathy Loghry Blogspot: 40 Movies for Christmas?!?!?!

Gentle readers, as you know, this blog focuses on the groove-tastic fashions of the 70s with some spillover into the late 60s and early 80s. However, I have recently discovered a modern cultural phenomena that I simply must post about.

Christmas movies. Specifically the tsunami of made-for-TV Christmas movies that come out this time of year.

I got clued into this sub-current of modern culture while in a doctor's waiting room. The TV had one of these movies showing and a number of ladies were COMPLETELY enraptured by it. So naturally my curiosity was aroused and I had to check it out. What I found COMPLETELY blew my mind.

Hallmark alone is unveiling 40 new Christmas movies this year!!! 40!!!! How is that even possible???? And then there's Lifetime and some other channels that have gotten into the game. I would list them all but I don't have the patience. The titles range from "Christmas at Dollywood" to "Check Inn for Christmas."

So I decided to watch one these, er, movies. The first task was locating the Hallmark channel on my TV. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that my cable bill was supporting not just one but THREE Hallmark channels!!!

I was going to do an in depth critic of a movie, but I really couldn't watch one all the way through. So instead I watched bits and pieces of several to get an idea of the general flow. These are formula movies (how else could one make 40 of them in one year??) so one is pretty much like the rest. Some observations:

Apparently they are all made on the same set located somewhere in Quebec.

Interchangeable Hallmark movie set.

Our heroine somehow is forced to leave the Big, Bad city (normally Chicago for some reason) and return to her home town.

Interchangeable Hallmark actress getting ready to leave the Big, Bad city. Hey wasn't she a Mean Girl??

Once back in her hometown, interchangeable Hallmark actress bumps (literally bumps) into her old flame.

Hallmark Hottie with her interchangeable Hallmark Hot boyfriend, who's probably a single dad for good measure.

Interchangeable Hallmark Hot actor who happens to be a single dad.

They go through some standard boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back type of script (except the roles are reversed.) Blah, blah, blah.

Each movie has several Must Have elements:

They are forced to be together for reasons out of their control (weather, car wreck, work, etc)

Once back in her hometown, our heroine rediscovers the magic of Christmas, realizes that her boyfriend back in the Big, Bad city is a total douche, realizes that she still has feelings for Hallmark Hot guy, decides to stay in the small hometown where everyone is happy and smiling all the time, nobody has an actual real job, and well, that pretty much is the sum total of the plot.

In the penultimate scene, they end up buying a Christmas tree together.

Interchangeable Christmas tree lot set.

Interchangeable Hallmark Hot guy buying a Christmas tree next to an open fire??? Maybe that's not such a good idea around a bunch of dead trees!

There's Christmas decorations in every, single shot of every, single scene...

I kid you not!! At first I thought about trying to make a drinking game out of this fact, but when I saw Christmas decorations in a closet, in one scene I realized that his was done deliberately. FYI, I's still trying to work up a drinking game for these movies.

Every single shot.

Of every single scene.

Hallmark Hot guy moving in for the kill shot.

The final scene is always in the town square, in front of a big Christmas tree, where they kiss.

And live Happily Ever After!!

And that's pretty much it. It's easy to make fun of these movies, but they have a rather refreshing innocence to them which I believe is the secret to their popularity. They represent a bastion of what we all want Christmas to be and I for one hope that they don't screw up their successfully formula anytime soon.

So grab a cup of eggnog and sit back and enjoy one the dozens of Christmas movies this year!!